White supremacy brings to mind images of the Ku KLUX Klan. I am not a member of the KKK. I am not racist. Then I read Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad. And I had to ask myself if I AM part of the problem, part of white supremacy.
I might not be racist. Am I anti-racist?
Me and White Supremacy forced me to explore my relationship with Layla Saad’s definition of white supremacy — a relationship I didn’t know existed — and it left me feeling hopeless, that I couldn’t win:
White supremacy is a system you have…
“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.” Tony Robbins.
If I want to become stronger or run a marathon, then I train. And I train consistently. So if I want to become a better writer, what should I do? I should write consistently.
Except I haven’t always found it simple. I would write only when the muse was with me. If the muse had left for the day, the week, or even the month, I didn’t write. The muse has in the past taken a round-the-world trip. …
How many times have you worried about the outcome of something and in your head have been through 142 scenarios about that outcome? How many times have you picked and picked at an old memory, thinking about what you could have done or said differently and how that would have turned out?
I do it far too regularly. You might call it overthinking. I call it time traveling. I’m jumping ahead to foresee the future and try to control it. Or I’m falling back in time, trying to change what has already happened.
But here’s the thing. I can’t foresee…
As the victim of sexually inappropriate behaviour by a colleague, I didn’t consider that my best friend would side with the perpetrator. But she did.
Best friends are people who make your problems their problems just so you don’t have to go through them alone.
She was my best friend. If we didn’t see each other that day, we would be messaging each other. We shared everything, there were no secrets.
Then her boss, someone she also considered a friend, behaved inappropriately to me. I’ve written about this previously.
There was never any question that I would tell her. He…
Why writing my eulogy is making me the person I always wanted to be.
“About 95% of society settles for far less than what they wanted in life, living in regret, and wishing they had more” — Hal Elrod
I was one of the 95%, I realized. My sleep was terrible. Coffee fuelled my days. I was always busy, always doing something yet I never felt fulfilled.
Then I had to face death when one of my oldest friends had a cancer diagnosis. My friend is too young to die. I’m too young to die.
Thinking about death forced me…
Why binge watching Dawson’s Creek has helped me move closer to my dream of having a career as a writer.
When Dawson’s Creek first hit television screens in 1998, I was 19. It was Sunday morning hangover television for me and as a romantic at heart, I was hooked on the Dawson/Joey/Pacey love triangle. Actually, I never saw the end of the series to find out who ended up with Joey.
Fast forward over 20 years and the digital age has allowed me to relive my youth with Dawson’s Creek now available on Amazon Prime. …
I wasn’t looking for her, or anyone else like her. I was tuning out to the sound of my friend whining about online dating. I looked up to see her coming down the stairs. Her shoulders were hunched, her head down, her eyes on her flat boots, not daring to look up and meet anyone else’s eye. And I knew then that I would be distracted by her until I left.
Her friends sat around her, shielding her in their circle of protection. They were her guardians, ready to protect their friend from any transphobia that she might face.
This is my space, this is your space. I don’t need to enter your space, you don’t need to enter my space. I don’t want to enter your space. And there the similarities end.
You want to enter my space, whether I want you to or not.
Will you win or will I? Is your desire for my body more important than my choice for my body?
It starts gradually. I don’t object to you sitting beside me. Why should I? I’ve known you for more than half my life. Friends and acquaintances surround us. …
I deserve to love freely. You deserve to love freely. Tales of people driven to take their own lives because people felt entitled to bully and harass them about who they love would suggest otherwise.
But I, a cis gendered woman who previously has never been in a relationship with another woman, fell in love with a trans woman. I don’t talk publicly about it, not out of fear of repercussions, not out of embarrassment but because the woman involved feels unable to live her life freely. …